1) Knowing why God doesn’t take away my child’s cancer, won’t cure Him. It won’t change the current situation.
2) I don’t have the time or emotional energy to try to guess an answer to a question that we will never know the answer too. Oh, and other people looking to me to answer the impossible question, really does not help me during this crisis.
But for me, this is what I come back to: Why does it matter?
More and more I have learned that why only matters in selective situations. And above that, we are not called to ask why as Christians.
Why was that person mean to me? It doesn’t matter, forgive them anyways.
Why is that person making bad decisions? It doesn’t matter, love them anyways.
Why doesn’t that person appreciate what I do? It doesn’t matter, help them anyways.
Now I understand that is an over simplification. Many times it helps to know why someone is doing something so you can address the root issues, and in the end better forgive, love or help. The main point for Jesus is that why is the not the goal, how we treat others is.
In this case, asking God why He is letting my son have cancer does not help, if anything it only will drive a wedge between God and I, and I am not having that.
Plus, questioning God in a negative light in this situation really…I’ll just say it…pisses me off. God is showing up in a HUGE way. He has taken such good care of us (which ill save for another post some day). It’s impossible to deny. Non-Christian friends are even seeing God moving. It’s nothing short of wonderful.
It may not be fair but in my heart right now to question what He has not done, is ignoring what He is doing.
The world is broken. We can’t fix that. Stop asking why. Accept that the world sucks. It’s not being pessimistic though because the good news is that God really does help us manage this crappy world. God is the good in the world, and boy does He show up. You just have to pay attention.
Through this…times of feeling overwhelmed, helpless, confused, and just not having the strength to move forward…I don’t ask why. I ask God to keep showing up, to teach me how to lean on Him, and to do whatever He can/will to help my son.