Just Keep Smiling

Note: I already posted a version of this post. I took it down because I was unhappy with it. It needed a little more polish. Here is what I consider the better version.
My son already has a reputation at the hospital. It’s much better than mine (a coffee addict) and is the best one a mom could hope for: for being a happy smiley baby. During all his medical drama, he’d cry, fuss, frown, but a short while after whatever he had to deal with was over, he would be smiling again. The doctors,nurses, and even me are blown away every time.

Asher smiles

I wish I could bounce back as quickly  and adapt like him.  I wish I lived in the happy moment between the tough ones, because I don’t care what’s coming next.

But many times I don’t. I get stuck. Stuck in worrying about what’s going to happen the day after tomorrow.  Stuck in what if the test result doesn’t come out the way we want it.  Stuck on that I miss my other child.  In those moments, it comes down to me being stuck because I am lacking hope.

Hope is everything.

I want to live in those happy in-between moments.  I want to love everyone around me.  I want to smile no matter what, because I have endless hope.

I know God, so I should. God is hope. Not just because the Sunday school teacher told me so, but because I have experienced it. He has brought me through some of the hardest times, through things that were my biggest fears and my own personal impossible moments.

But it’s not always so easy to remember day in and day out.  I have moments…heck, I have days where hope is harder and is the furthest thing from my mind. Those are the days I don’t smile. Those are the days I don’t bounce back.

I want to be the little cartoon fish singing “just keep swimming, just keep swimming” over and over again. (Hey, don’t judge. The song is catchy.)

Those are the days that I look at my son and try to be reminded that we have everything to hope for.

“And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” -Romans 5:5 NIV

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