“See, I was quiet, and I was shy…but I was smart as hell. And I read. A lot. I had ideas about how to be cruel to people that the other kids hadn’t even THOUGHT of. (Mostly because they’d taught them to me by being cruel to me all those years.)”
“A fascinating point . . . but then you have to keep a separate washcloth for the face . . . right? (Please tell me you’re keeping a separate washcloth for the face.)
Alright, folks. Fess up. Do you washcloth, or pouf, or just lather up?”
“I really should shut up, but I have to talk about the video I’d make. Because it’s important. Because here is this amazing pop song that my girls love, that’s safe for my girls to love, and it would be the perfect opportunity to showcase both the physical and emotional strength of girls, and that’s where high school cheerleading comes in.
…Wait. Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t throw your pen angrily on the ground and stomp out of the room. Definitely don’t throw your phone because that’s expensive and not covered under the warranty and you promised you’d work on your temper.”
“”I’m still thinking about being Marilyn Monroe,” Big Kid piped up. We’ve discussed this before. He thinks it would be hilarious and while I agree, I’m afraid he doesn’t understand the adult implications of dressing in drag. I attempted to explain again.”