My husband. My hero. Yesterday he worked a full day at his day-job, came home for an hour, then went to a pastoral class (for his ordination) for three hours, then came home to a screaming daughter and a very exhausted and just DONE wifey.
Thankfully her and I only had our joint meltdown ten minutes before the husband came home from class. He got both of us calmed down within minutes. He is that great.
Still, all the tricks of the trade could not get her to go to sleep until after midnight, but at least a stuffed animal did not have to die in the process.
Then the baby was up at 1:30… until 4ish, I think. It’s all blurrs together at one point. AND THEN HE GOT UP AT 6.
The husband’s class nights are supposed to be my early-bedtime nights. Kids in bed/crib at 7:30, mommy in bed by 8:30. It’s supposed to be glorious. Don’t they know this? Don’t they care that their Mama hair is turning gray by the handfuls and will be solid white by the time she is 30? Don’t they know that I am one poopy diaper from all out crazy town?
No. No love from the chillin’s. I mean, I am the parent, I am supposed to be the center of everything. Hello!
Ahhh, sarcasm, how I love you.
But parenting is fun like that. You never sleep. And I mean NEVER.
Now I really do have two of the best kids in the whole wide world. My kids mostly behave in public, are fairly polite, and are so freaking adorable. Our main battle with my daughter has always been bedtime.
We have tried lights on, lights off, three different night lights, door open, door shut, door open at various angles, music on, music off, white noise, house in silence, house with noise, different music, a hour long bedtime routine, a ten minute routine, strict bedtime, flexible bedtime, reading before bed, TV before bed, sitting and starting at the wall before bed… there is no rhyme or reason to her insomnia madness.
Some weeks she will sleep 4-5 nights a week…some weeks I am lucky if I get one full night. Sometimes she wakes up at midnight, or 3 am, or 5 am, or all of the above. Some weeks she just can’t go to sleep initially until she passes out in some awkward position on the floor of her room.
There is usually tears, but not always. There is sometimes tantrums, but not always. There is sometimes complete calm and compliance, but not always.
Every week is different.
At least she keeps things interesting.
Now I am sure some of you are like “some kids just need less sleep than others.” Need is the keyword there. The little girl needs sleep. She can’t survive off of five hours of sleep. She melts down, is a shell of her little self, and it just ruins everyone’s day. Even eight hours solid is barely enough.
A couple of months ago, at her last doctor’s appointment, I broke down. I only was seeing her truly rested, maybe one day a month. That’s not okay.
So he was like “Have you tried… ?” Finally after the 4th thing that we tried two years ago, I gave him the list. He sat back and confirmed my suspicions, “You have done everything you could.”
The next step, was a sleeping supplement. We started out with Melatonin. A natural sleep thingy, that PRAISE THE LORD, comes in gummy form. Three weeks of that, and she got on a good sleep cycle for almost two months.
The last two weeks she has been off again. I distribute the Melatonin (only as directed by doctor) like crack, but it doesn’t seem to help like before.
So back to my original point. Husband. Yes. Cool guy.
On top of saving my sanity last night after an extremely long day for him, this morning he stayed home and took care of the children.
GET THIS: I slept in. Until 10am. From 4am-10am almost completely SOLID sleep.
Lately when I can sleep, I am tossing and turning, and listening for every squeak, whimper, or sigh coming from the kids. It’s not ideal. Even my “day’s off” haven’t been all that restful.
Now, I have been going on 3 or 4 years like this. Addison didn’t sleep through the night AT ALL until after she was a year old. The only time I get good rest, has been mostly on nights the kids are away. I’ve gotten used to it. Coffee is a big part of my life. I can nap on a moment’s notice. It’s just part of my mommyhood.
But this last week I have been in a uber funk. Just depressed with really no triggers or reason. Sluggish. I didn’t do the dishes, which I usually do every day. I haven’t baked or made any breakfast goodies like usual (and if possible, I think I have OD’d on donuts because of it). Oh and laundry. Yeah, that… ha. Sure. It’s there. In the basket. Piling up. But chores aside, I’ve just not been able to deal with life emotionally, just because I have been so, so, so very tired.
Like it does often the lack of sleep thing was just not working. At one point, I just sat on the bed trying not to sob. I was at my wits end with the insomnia, the whining, and the inability to hug my pillow for more than ten minutes at a time.
So the husband graciously stayed home.
And I feel worlds better. I forgot what being rested was like. The rested feeling lasted a whole two hours before I was ready for a nap, but those two hours were glorious.
This guy makes me smile. Every. Single. Time.