The last two days I have felt better than I have in over a month. Nothing has changed but somehow a 10,000 pound weight has been lifted off my heart. I’m still worried and overwhelmed, but at least it doesn’t take all of my energy just to be alive.
So I have decided:
Cookies, it’s a good thing.
I love me some cookies…well, soft cookies at least. I can’t stand hard ones. It’s just not the same. They don’t count in terms of dessert options for me.
For me though, the holidays are all about cookies. Sugar cookies with cream cheese frosting in particular. It’s like what I do in December. Make cookies, oh and eat my aunt’s peanut butter cookies, then make more sugar cookies. It’s what my Christmas dreams are made of.
Until recently at least.
I’ve had this thing of hating on Christmas since I can remember. I’ve just never been a fan. I love my family. I appreciate the gifts. I ADORE my grandparent’s houses at Christmas. But it always was a lot of emotional energy in a short amount of time, and I never handled it well. Plus, I always seemed to be sick around then.
It also doesn’t help that I have a legit phobia of Santa.
Whenever the decorations start, the radio starts playing White Christmas, and Pinterest is blowing up with pictures of intricately dedicated Christmas trees, is usually my cue to get bitter and sad. It’s just a reaction. I have no particular idea why, I just don’t like Christmas.
Then walked in my husband…
The shirt has been altered to protect certain birthday people.
When The Husband came into the picture he went out of his way to make my Christmas’s less emotional, and more at the pace I needed. Plus having him by my side always makes everything better. Which is why I probably married him… so now that mystery is solved, my point: The last three years Christmas’s have been better. Happy, fun, and calm.
But this year I still wasn’t like:
About a week ago something changed deep inside. The bah humbug lost it’s fight. Good tidings started sneaking into my brain. It started with the random search at the grocery store for ready-made sugar cookie dough (they only had peppermint!). Then came the urge to watch the Mickey Christmas special on Netflix. And yesterday, I started… I don’t even know if I can bring myself to say it.
Here is my dilemma: I am morally against decorating before Thanksgiving. It’s right up there with wiping your boogers on someone, kicking a puppy, or diet soda. It’s gross, cruel, and the beginning of the end of humanity.
But yesterday, this bout of temporary insanity hit a new level of horror.
I know! I know! I am sorry! I couldn’t help it. When I wasn’t looking I gave into temptation and became one of those people. I decorated. A little. But still inexcusable.
Then it got worse… I started DIYing.
I had to promise the Husband it was a Christmas decoration and would be taken down eventually. Although, it matches our mantel’s decor perfectly.
I have 12 of these laid out. None done yet. But it’s going to be some awesome DIY garland when it’s done!
2013 has been just a weird year for me.
In many ways awesome…but so many uncharacteristic turn of events and changes, it’s like I am growing or something.
Or maybe it’s because Thanksgiving hasn’t sunk in. It’s usually one of my favorite holiday’s right after Halloween, but this year I am not feeling it. I usually want to host at my house, cook for family, and bake for friends. I show love through food. Which is kind of like my shtick on Thanksgiving. I want to thank the world and bring joy by providing yums for those I love.
I know you are probably thinking it’s because of the cancer crazy that I am not so thankful feeling this year? Not true. I’m more thankful than ever.
I’m just low on ambition and energy these days, so unless I can microwave it, it doesn’t sound so appealing. But yet, I have the energy to make Christmas decorations…
I don’t understand it either.
My world is backwards. Up is down, black is white, and I care about Christmas more than Thanksgiving.
But what really matters is my mood is happy and my felt garland with buttons and ribbons is going to change the world and make up for the aliens.