Kids say weird things

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When your kid starts talking you are like FINALLY! No more needless crying! Communication! My life will be simpler! This isn’t quite the case. All that happens is you add  ‘translator without a dictionary’ to your job title. Even when they are good talkers, can say the right words, the problem still becomes they are not always getting across what they mean. Intent and what they communicate can be very different. Taking the time to distinguish this is a part-time job in itself, but helps you from ringing their little whiney little neck’s some days…okay, most days.  Kids just don’t quite get nuances for tone, feelings, perception, and any type of general communication 101. 

Any parent knows, kids just keep you guessing. There is no better person to keep you on your toes. Right when you are proud and impressed that your kid is the smartest kid on the block they say a random word that leave you going “whaaaat?!”

This week I’ve made a game out of the translations. I mean, what else am I going to do, the laundry? Ha! So here are some of the most recent gems…

Cockadoodledo! Cockadoodledo! = Mother please come here! I am stuck and need help.

Mingos = Mini corn dogs

I’m married = I’m sad   (Yes, as I have acknowledged I know I am a failure as a parent for this)

No! Baby brother is awake! Get him up now!!! = I love my brother, and would like to play with him now. I am more comfortable if he is in the same room as me. Can you please oblige?

I missed you soooo much = I’m lonely and want attention because it’s 2am and I am wide awake.

Yellow soup = Instant chicken noodle soup

Muffins = Muffins, donuts, bagels, and any type of pastry

I am not awake! It’s not morning! = I am still tired so leave me alone, or death with befall you.

I am being mean = I am frustrated and don’t know how to handle it, I am angry and don’t know how to handle it, I want attention and don’t know how to handle it, or I just did something mean.

Sisters = Nurses

NEVER = (When said randomly and out of context) I want to express my feelings or be dramatic but don’t know how.

They love me so much = I like them

I love them so much = I am comfortable with them

LOOK! LOOK AT WHAT’S HAPPENING!!!! = My baby brother is touching something of mine, would you be a dear and please remove said item from his grasp?

What’s some weird stuff your kids have said?


5 thoughts on “Kids say weird things

    • I hear that ALL the time now. If she is in a mood, she says it if he touches ANYTHING! Like his bottle, his crib, or if he just crawls. It was hilarious the first day or two, now I internally cringe whenever I hear it.

  1. Keegan’s translations:

    Daddy – you are a mildly important person in my life, or I simply want to talk to you.

    Ooo – I am excited over something/something is out of reach causing me great anguish

    Tantrum inducing words: (correct use an timing for word)

    I want:
    No:(either being told or saying) which now also elicits physical expressions of “humph” followed by a foot stomp, stomp and slap of his own leg, or crossing of arms..
    And my favorite, cuz I didn’t think a 21 month old could say a sentence of “I want daddy” (while typing he brought me his cup and said I want daddy..but his cup was empty and he really wanted a refill) of he just daddy..

  2. Instead of saying Thank You, L says I Love You. We’ve tried to correct him over and over but he’s sticking to it. No idea where it came from, but we aren’t gonna push too hard to change it because it’s so darn cute and well, it kinda works!

  3. 4 Year old Sister:
    Mom (Handing Maddie,4, a potholder): “Maddie can you put this in the drawer sweetie?”
    Maddie: “Mom, it is not my job to put your stuff away.”

    Maddie (favorite story is David and Goliath). Anything that can swing around is her sling shot. My brother is coming down the stairs and Maddie is swinging around her “sling shot” which happens to be a yo yo and yells up to my brother….her “Goliath”: “I’m going to get you, you uncircumcised Philistine!”

    Maddie to my 13yo sister who was apparently being annoying: “You need asphyxiation.”

    Maddie about her stuffed Ernie: “Oh no! He has blunt force trauma to the leg”

    Madison said she was going to help me clean She grabbed a rag and said, “This is slavery…just like Pharaoh”

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